Ten Amazing Years: I Had No Idea

June 27, 1998

Dear Sweet Man,

On the day we married, I had no idea.

I had no idea what romance awaited us or how many ways we would experience God’s faithfulness together.

I had no idea how much I would treasure your godly character and integrity until I saw our tiny Benjamin, gazing into your eyes and wanting to be just like you.

I had no idea what an anchor your steady consistency would be until I saw the confidence growing in our sweet Bethany’s face each time you held her hand.

I had no idea that being a family together with you would bring so much laughter and such intense joy.

I had no idea that the simple moments of walking and chatting or being goofy at home would often bring as much pleasure as the monumental ones.

I had no idea that I could fall in love with you all over again, deeper than before, each time I learned something new about you by what you did or said.

If someone had tried to tell me, my heart wouldn’t have been big enough to hold the truth of it.

The funny thing is, it will happen again, and when it does, I’ll still be amazed.

You are the surprise of a lifetime.

Ten Amazing Years: Something That We Do

I've had a wonderful time wandering through our ten years of marriage over the past couple of months, but this week it will be time to wrap it up.  I'm working on the grand finale right now. It involves a song by Clint Black called "Something That We Do".

Before I met Lee, I was no fan of country music.  Lee is not that big on it either, but he was BORN to SING it.  Every now and then when we're driving down the road he flips through the channels and lands on a country love song and sings it to me. Don't ask me how he knows the words.  All I know is that it melts me into a puddle every time.

Just about the time we were married, he stumbled on this one, and it never fails to make me cry. This song is the bottom line of what makes our marriage work.  God holds it together, most definitely, but this is what makes it work.  Check back in at the end of the week to hear it, but for now, here are the lyrics:

I remember well the day we wed
I can see that picture in my head
I still believe the words we said
Forever will ring true
Love is certain, love is kind
Love is yours and love is mine
But it isn't something that we find
It's something that we do

It's holding tight, lettin' go
It's flying high and laying low
Let your strongest feelings show
And your weakness, too
It's a little and a lot to ask
An endless and a welcome task
Love isn't something that we have
It's something that we do

We help to make each other all that we can be
Though we can find our strength and inspiration independently
The way we work together is what sets our love apart
So closely that you can't tell where I end and where you start

It gives me heart remembering how
We started with a simple vow
There's so much to look back on now
Still it feels brand-new
We're on a road that has no end
And each day we begin again
Love's not just something that we're in
It's something that we do

We help to make each other all that we can be
Though we can find our strength and inspiration independently
The way we work together is what sets our love apart
So closely that you can't tell where I end and where you start

Love is wide, love is long
Love is deep and love is strong
Love is why I love this song
And I hope you love it too
I remember well the day we wed
I can see that picture in my head
Love isn't just those words we said
It's something that we do

There's no request too big or small
We give ourselves, we give our all
Love isn't someplace that we fall
It's something that we do

Ten Amazing Years: Bethany

And then along came Bethany, less than two years after Ben. It didn't take Daddy long to give her the title "High Adventure Girl". One day when they were very small, I said to Ben for some reason, "You are a smart somebody!" To which he replied (gleefully), "And Bethany is a determined somebody!" Hmm, wonder where he heard THAT! Alas it's true, she was determined from the start to keep up with her brother, but in her own, more graceful way. Mostly.

Bethany has always had a way with words. When she was younger, she loved to go to her cousins' to see the "monsters" (hamsters). And up until recently, her favorite position to play in baseball was the "vampire". One of my very favorite pastimes it just watching her do her thing. She takes my breath away.

You can have some fun "girl time" with Bethany by visiting my favorite posts about her:

My little girl is growing up
Newsflash!
Off with the training wheels
Bethany is six!!
Twirly Girl
An unforgettable moment

A lot of people have said she looks like her mom, but I'm not so sure...

(Note: To see the rest of the scrapbook that goes with the collage above, click here.)

Ten Amazing Years: Benjamin

So along came Benjamin. He defies being summed up, because just when you think you've put your finger on him, he squirms right out and gives you something new to consider. Let's just say I knew I was in trouble when he was three. We gave him a mini Blue's Clues computer for Christmas. It took him a few days to figure out the answer to every single question Steve could throw his way, and then he started giving the wrong answers. On purpose. And then giggling. "Don't you want Steve to know that you know the right answer?" I asked. More giggling. Thank the Lord he has not become the underachiever that I then feared he would be. Seriously!

Visit him for yourself at my favorite posts about him. He is so much fun!

True Love
Parlez Vous?
On the eighth day of Christmas...
Today's stretch of the road
Fun with Ben and Bethany
Never a dull moment

A lot of people say he looks like his dad...

Ten Amazing Years: A Dream Come True

Look at that sweet, peaceful face. Our Benjamin. I was holding him in the hospital just like that, with tears streaming down my face, when Lee came over and asked, "Did you get what you wanted?" He knows joyful tears when he sees them.

What I wanted? Oh, and for how long???

What young woman doesn't dream of being a wife and a mom? Well, maybe a few, but I wasn't one of them. There were a few men along the way, but none of them was for keeps.

But there is a God who is for keeps. THE one and only SURE THING. And after a trip to Haiti my senior year in college, I was hooked on following this God wherever He took me. So my twenties were pretty adventurous, and then when I turned 31 I found myself about to board a plane to Central Asia for two years. I think this is when it occurred to me that the wife and mom dream might never be a reality for me. So I got on the plane and left my dream in God's hands.

God could have kept that dream and still remained His faithful self. But the day I first held Benjamin was the day I realized my dreams had been returned to me completely. Even beyond my imagination. He is a faithful keeper of dreams.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory..." Ephesians 3:20-21

Ten Amazing Years: First Anniversary

Here we are on our first anniversary in one of my favorite places.  The trails at Gooseberry Falls were a little more interesting to navigate at seven months pregnant.  In fact, some other hikers looked downright nervous when we started the ascent back up from Lake Superior.  No problem.  Ben was born ten days late, and would barely be coerced from the womb at that point.  (But that's a whole different story!)

I was 36 years old, and had just closed down my 15 year teaching career.  It was at this point that I lost almost all of my previous identity.  But I've discovered that the background is a very comfortable place for me.  And although I still get a lot of satisfaction from all that I accomplished in my former life, I think I enjoy the freedom to dream of and explore the possibilities before me even more. But this time along with the loves of my life.

Ten Amazing Years: Money Management

True confession...I am one tough customer. Sweet, but tough. Probably because I spent four years in two different cultures where you negotiate the price of your vegetables. I'm pretty sure that the day Lee decided to marry me was the day we went to Schlotsky's (which have since closed and I MISS!) with a two for one coupon. We went in, totally unaware that it was for a different location about five miles away. When the cashier brought this to our attention, I said, "Oh, you don't want us to have to drive all the way over there, do you? You'll honor it, won't you?" And he did.

When we got engaged, a lady in our church said to Lee, "There goes your money guy!" Lee was laughing as he told me about it. She had no idea how much money I would save this man.

So today I took my computer to the genius bar at the Apple Store to have the battery looked at. Thankfully I had done my homework. I went on their support page and found that this was a problem people have been having, and that, if my computer was purchased during a certain time frame and had one of a list of symptoms, I was a candidate for replacement even if the warranty had expired (which it did a month ago). While I was at the store trying to bring the bookmarked page up, the genius was telling me sometimes batteries just wear out, and your warranty is expired, and what? you don't have AppleCare?, and you'll probably have to replace it. And do you have Leopard or Tiger, or do you know? What?? Do I know??!!! What kind of a question is that for an intelligent person? (Tiger.) So I pulled up my Apple Support page, and voila!

Free new battery. Value: $129
Knowing your stuff well enough to beat the genius at his game: Priceless.

I celebrated by buying sandals for Bethany and me. Twenty bucks. Cha ching!

P.S. Due to popular demand, the Apple page for dying batteries is here. Go get 'em!!

Ten Amazing Years: A Blast From the Past

You won't believe this...



Hold onto your hat (or your stomach)...



I really did take this picture of Lee in 1998...



I am not yanking your chain...



(Of course, we found it noteworthy enough, even then, to take the picture...)






Today:

Well at least ALMOST everything keeps getting better with time!

Ten Amazing Years: "I Got It!!!"

So we're standing on the deck of our cruise ship watching a pod of very active whales.  They are a ways off in the distance, but a friend of ours had loaned us her camera with an extra good zoom lens.  I am poised and ready to shoot. Sure enough, out of the water comes this breeching humpback, and "click" goes my camera at precisely the right millisecond.  Let's just say that there was no one on board who wondered whether I had captured the moment.  Nothing like an exuberant amateur photographer!

Of course, that was back in the dark ages when I had to wait until we got home to know what, exactly, that picture was going to look like. That way I could also share my ecstasy with all of the people at the photo place. I'm sure that they must have been thrilled to share that moment with me. (In fact, I'm sure that each one of them would be clicking on that photo right now to see it bigger. You can too!)

Ten Amazing Years: "We Thinking"

It was just before we got engaged that Lee introduced the concept of "we thinking" into our relationship. At that time, it was a matter of shifting our thinking to making decisions as a couple, but it has become much more than that. Of course, much of my role in our family (and in life!) revolves around trying to strike a balance in all of our activity. But I have my own agenda too. And so does each member of the family.

I have learned that, when there is friction in our marriage, it is time to do some "we thinking". Almost every time I notice that I have reverted to defending "my turf" for some reason. Of course if I choose to, I can rifle through a mental list of all the reasons why I am justified, but that never solves the problem. It always helps to refocus and figure out where we need to go collectively, and then how best to get there. Together. It's hard work. But we are a team, and the work has produced great satisfaction in our marriage.

This photo is from our honeymoon.  Can anyone guess what city is in the background?

UPDATE: Check the comments for a winning answer! Here are some more honeymoon shots. Makes me want to go back!!

Ten Amazing Years: Surprises

Since I'm not a novelist, I'm just going to give the short story version of our courtship. I can't say that Lee and I were a likely couple. We met at church soon after Lee was transferred up to the tundra with his job.  We were in choir together. We did a few things together for fun, knowing that I was soon to leave the country for a couple of years. We did not correspond at all while I was away, and I fully expected to discover that Lee had moved back south as he had hoped to do. But I got back, and here he was! So I guess if one thing sums it up, he took me by surprise.

Lee and I dated for 2 1/2 years before we got engaged. Although the first few months we couldn't quite admit that we were dating. We tried hard to scare each other off. In fact, I even tried to get a couple of my good friends to talk me out of dating him, and they refused. But in the end, Lee couldn't envision a lifetime without my chocolate chip cookies. And I couldn't envision one without his affection--symbolized here by the roses.

I'm so glad we don't scare easily, because I do love surprises. Lee is undoubtedly the best surprise God has ever had for me.

Ten Amazing Years: A Theme

It took me no time at all to discover a theme in our pictures.  Of all of the pictures of Lee and me together, I'd say roughly 75% of them have water.  That would be a conservative estimate.  (Lee would love the fact that I used a percentage as a descriptor. And that I was conservative. It's the little things that he appreciates about me!)

I don't think I ever noticed how often we found ourselves around water together, even from the very beginning of our friendship. We have always loved to walk around the lake or catch a beach side concert. We went on a canoe trip to the Boundary Waters with a church group while we were dating.

One of the things I appreciate most about all of these activities is that they have taken us away from our tasks and allowed us time to talk to each other. They have helped us to relax together. We often find ourselves laughing hard, and many times end up solving problems or understanding each other and our kids better. Of course none of these things requires water, but it sure helps!

Ten Amazing Years: A Love Story

Here begins the story of the sweetest romance I know of...my own love affair with my husband, Lee.

Ten years ago Lee and I had just gotten engaged on the first day of spring and were planning a June wedding.  I was a second grade teacher, and he whisked me away to Georgia to visit his parents for spring break. This picture is from Callaway Gardens, which is also where the gorgeous azalea photo at the top of my blog is from (another stop along our journey).  We haven't changed much, have we???

I've been working hard to get some of the highlights of our pre-digital years onto the computer, and I find myself stopping frequently to marvel at where we have been.  God has been SO good to us.  So this is the first in a series of celebration of this decade of our journey as a couple and a family.