Unless a kernel of wheat falls

Fall is so beautiful and full of activity...

but it has a way of bringing on a bit of melancholy.

Yesterday it was time to clean out the garden.

The yard waste container needed to be filled before the truck came, 

and the weather forecast is pretty certain that Jack Frost is on his way

bringing the inevitable barrenness.

Some of that has already come, anyway.

Most of what we put in the dumpster was looking pretty spent.

Most.

I look at those beautiful flowers in the yard waste, so proud and defiant, complaining that they don't belong there. They make me laugh, because they remind me of me.  Me on the inside. Wanting to be strong when God says his power is perfected in my weakness. Trying to figure out what it means to be older and maybe a little more vulnerable than the young and invincible me. Seeking my significance by wanting those around me to notice and tend to my needs. I suppose I could hang onto these beauties for another week and baby them just a little more, but they too would succumb to the frosty touch.

Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.  Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be.  My Father will honor the one who serves me."  John 12:24-26

Lord, help me follow you in such a way that wherever you are, I'll be there joining you in what you are doing. Rather than living my life with the purpose of pleasing myself, may I find the true satisfaction of trusting you. Only in letting go--abandoning myself to serve--can I find true honor.  Help me to let go.