No one prepared me for this

I think it is safe to say that spring has arrived.  Not that anything is blooming yet (except some crocuses that I saw yesterday), but the snow is almost gone, and the kids are playing outside.  THEY are definitely blooming. Life is so good!

Spring is always a busy time, so yesterday I was making sure my calendar was up to date, and mentally preparing myself for the faster pace.  Even looking forward to it.  I was looking at this handout that Ben's teacher gave us at conferences and double checking to make sure I had marked all the dates.

And then it hit me.

It's not so much the visit from the middle school counselors,

or really even the graduation.  

I am looking forward to the new challenges for Ben.  He is ready.

I thought I might fear the teen years, but really, watching our kids grow is 

the most amazing and exciting thing I have ever experienced.  

I think even I am ready.

Here's what hit me:

I am a little nervous that we are going to a place where

PARENTS NEEDED

is no longer a recurring theme.

I have been hanging out with these guys since they were LITTLE.

To the teacher in me, they have sort of been my class.

Except that when I was a teacher, I never had the joy of watching them grow up.

They kinda stole my heart when I wasn't looking.

But now they will go off to two different schools

and I will begin to lose track of some of them.

And these girls?

They're only a year behind.

I did not grieve my kids going to school.  Watching them get on that bus to kindergarten was honestly the thrill of a lifetime for me, because I think schools are some of the most awe-inspiring places on earth and I could hardly wait to share that with them.  Obviously I knew they would finish elementary school and move on.  But I had no idea how emotional it would be for me.

"Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom."

Psalm 90:12