There is one type of song, however, that I must confess tends to perplex me. It's the desperation variety. I guess I don't very often feel desperate for God--I perceive him as so available that maybe I take him for granted. Don't get me wrong. There is often much in these songs that does speak to me, and they are sometimes among the most beautiful musically. I just notice from time to time that I'm singing that I'm desperate and not really feeling it and wondering if that makes me a hypocrite. Or shallow. So there's a raw thought for you on a Monday morning.
But today, Abigail made me recognize a point of desperation within me. She wrote a beautiful poem called "Pendulum" that speaks of the fine balance of the walk of faith. On one extreme lies religious legalism, and on the other lies humanistic self-absorption. Somewhere in between lies the heart of Christ, his thorn-pierced brow. Or does it? Does HE? His outstretched hands are actually the perfect ends to the true God continuum. I'm desperate to discern daily whether my pendulum is on the proper spectrum at all. My spiritual health depends on it.
I could write more, but you would be better served to go read what Abigail wrote. She's 15. She makes me want to grow up.
What do you think of when you consider what it means to be desperate for God?
7 comments:
Wow Tracy, I can't believe she's 15and has such insight and she likes strong black coffee!
Nothing like starting my Monday with a raw thought. I don't show a lot of emotion and I'm not very dramatic. I wonder if people feel emotion is equivalent to showing desperation for God.
I looked up desperate in my dictionary and it said: 1. rash or violent because of despair. 2. having a great need. 3.very serious 4. drastic
I don't believe I live in a state of desperation when it comes to my relationship with the Lord. I don't believe He ask for that.
I do believe there are times I will walk thru when I more desperately seek Him about situations. Even the life of Jesus on earth shows Him living among the people and with his Disciples, but there were times He got away and I believe He was desperate during some of His times of prayer especially the closer it got to His death on the cross.
So I don't know. I'm rambling.
But good food for thought.
♥ Joy
Thanks for helping me out, Joy! You gave me some words I was looking for. "I don't show a lot of emotion and I'm not very dramatic." I like your way of saying that--it's not that I'm not very emotional, but I'm not one to wear my emotions on my sleeve.
Thanks so much for this post Tracy! You are so encouraging to me, and I'm thrilled that you liked my poem. :) You raise some very thought provoking questions. I will continue to study my soul and try to listen to the answers that the Indweller of it has for me.
Once again, thank you so much for the encouragement! :)
In His arms,
--Abigail
I'm not sure what it means, but I know God's speaking thru the words of that 15-year-old!
Tracy, great question. I think I know at least one song you may be referring to. Sorry, no insight here. Sometimes I just don't sing when I don't 'feel it' but that wouldn't work when you are on the worship team. There have been times in my life when desperation for God was a 'felt' need. I might be singing the loudest then, if not with my voice, then with my heart.
Am I too rich and comfortable overall to feel desperate for God?
Stefanie, you know, I appreciate that insight greatly. Worship can be a little like "Hallmark"--when you don't have the words but you know where to go for help in finding them. Just because they may not be my exact words for that day doesn't mean someone else doesn't need me to help them express them. I think that's the way I most often approach my role.
I so desire to be for real up there--you friends are a great sounding board, and I appreciate the truly helpful comments!
That was such a beautiful poem.
Post a Comment